Author: Patric Gagne
Sociopath: A Memoir is a book by Patric (Patricia) Gagne, allegedly a diagnosed sociopath who wrote a memoir about her struggle of being a sociopath and trying to find a place in society that appreciates empathy, emotions and being like everyone else. While reading, I kept thinking of a book I read before, also written by an allegedly diagnosed sociopath, The Confessions of a Sociopath (see my blog here).
Whilst in Confessions, the author relishes in her sociopathy and openly loathes everyone else and thus enjoys and celebrates her superficial charm, manipulating and cheating others, and expresses excessive levels of self-grandiose, which makes finishing the book hard, this book is the direct opposite. Sociopath: A Memoir tries to make it look as if this sociopath has no empathy for others and does not feel anything but somehow looks for other sociopaths and tries to help them, thus seeking empathy, not from society at large but from other sociopaths. She is also trying to make sense of why she is different, and then later, after diagnosis, how to cope with being a sociopath. In a way, this author tries to appeal to our empathy to make us feel bad for sociopaths.
There is a reference at the beginning of the book to the Dexter series, which makes me suspicious that the author nicked that plot because the whole book is about the release and pressure sociopaths need to release because they do not feel, but this is not commonly found in literature. It is a Dexter plot, and don’t get me wrong, I loved that series, and it inspired me to study sociopathy and psychopathy more, but I am not buying it as a real-life situation of a sociopath seeking release in the same way. Also, the Dexter series clearly outlines that Dexter’s killer urges come from his experience as a child when his mother was butchered in front of him, followed by his stepfather assuming he will become a psychopath and a killer and thus, in a way, nudging him to become a vigilante and kill those who commit heinous crimes but fall through legal cracks. This is not how this author portrays herself and there is no reference to traumatic experiences in childhood that may have led her not to feel, etc.
The author of Sociopath: A Memoir correctly mentions that sociopathy and psychopathy are not the same thing. In a book on psychopathy, Dr Kent A. Kiehl writes about this and argues there are two definitions, and whilst there are similarities between sociopaths and psychopaths, there are also differences. Sociopathy describes individuals who act in an anti-social way, which has social and environmental causes, whilst psychopaths are biologically conditioned with their genetics and their brain’s makeup to act in a certain way, with environmental factors being just a plus. This is why the American Psychiatric Association did not put psychopathy and Hare’s psychopathy checklist into their diagnostic manual. This was influenced by Lee Robins, who was a sociologist and wanted to focus also on environmental factors, and thus, all manuals have an antisocial personality disorder, which links to sociopathy. Dr Kiehl argued in his book, The Psychopath Whisperer, that DSM-III is heavily influenced by behaviourist theory and thus places an emphasis on environmental factors more than on genetics and brains.
However, what I am saying is not an issue with this book because it gives the reader an insight into the minds of sociopaths and how they go about manipulating empaths, so I found it valuable in that respect. I also agree with the author that sociopaths are everywhere around us, but a sociopath is not the one we think of, it is someone we would never consider as a sociopath. I think this is very likely and even though grumpy and blunt people often get seen as sociopaths, I also think it is more likely a sociopath is someone charming and smiley rather than a miserable sod who complains about everything. Sociopaths know how to hide in plain sight.
What I particularly found telling, in this book, was the notion of studying at UCLA because the author does not clarify what her major was, she only writes about meeting a professor who got her interested in psychology. Later, when she talks about going to graduate school, she goes back to UCLA to find her previous professor and then continues writing, making us believe she is studying at UCLA, but then she suddenly mentions she studied elsewhere. I had to google this to figure things out, and it turns out other readers also spotted this confusion and figured that the author did a PhD in a professional school and not UCLA, but she mentions this as a side note to conceal it from readers. Also, on her website, she mentions that some readers spotted that UCLA does not operate on a semester basis but on a quarter basis and this has apparently been the case for a long time so she corrects that on her website and says people who spotted that mistake are geniuses and should consider a career in editing. I think this opens a question as to whether the author studied at UCLA because that whole part is unexplored and descriptions of studying insufficient. I did not know that UCLA does not have traditional semesters, so it seems like an easy mistake for someone who invents an experience, but it is also an easy mistake to spot for someone who knows it. This was interesting because I discovered this info on the author’s website after I finished the book, and this finding surprised me and made me realise this is probably why the study experience at UCLA is so underdeveloped in the book.
There is an interesting debate about the accuracy of this book on Reddit. Many commentators were upset about the truthfulness of the author’s statements, but I think this is very valuable because it truly enables an understanding of sociopathy. I also understand, knowing what I know about sociopathy, why the author would conceal where she studied and muddle that out. Sociopaths have a self of self-grandiose and if UCLA is seen by a sociopath as ‘the’ school then not making it can be seen as a failure and a sociopath cannot be seen in that way. Therefore, what makes this book good in my view is particularly the fact that some things are not truthful and this notion of nicking Dexter and trying to create empathy in readers, which was an excellent example of a sociopathic attempt to influence empaths.
For anyone interested in sociopathy, Sociopath: A Memoir is a valuable resource for understanding this antisocial personality disorder (the actual term as mentioned above). And if there is anything the author does well, it is raising awareness that not all sociopaths are violent and should not be treated as such. I suppose that this argument is also an appeal to empathy, which is not working on me, but I get where the author is coming from, and I get the hypocrisy of those of us who have a selective empathy that involves all but not sociopaths even if they are not violent, so criticism is well-received and acknowledged. However, this could have provided for a better focus of the book rather than muddling around with a diagnosis, that does not seem realistic or perhaps it was concealed, i.e., the author mentions Cleckley’s sociopathy checklist which was used to diagnose her, but this is also one of the psychopathy checklists that the author renamed, and it is the one that was developed before Hare’s checklist so it remains unclear why the psychologist who diagnosed the author used this list and not Hare’s. Since the author claims that she has a PhD in psychology, it comes as a surprise that she does not mention Hare.
In sum, it is entirely unclear what is true in Sociopath: A Memoir and what is not, but that does not take anything away from the book and its quality. The book is generally well-written with a compelling writing style, and it reads well. I read it within two days and wrote many pages of notes on my Kindle Scribe. I thought it was a very valuable resource for understanding sociopathy from the pen of a sociopath (or a psychopath perhaps?). Also, good book PR, with a New York Times article published ahead of the book (see here).
Highly recommended (but after reading The Psychopath Whisperer).
Thank you for reading!