Author: Amanda James
The Garden of Memories is a beautiful homage to friendships, communities and nature. The book is about the power of a garden and plants in bringing people together, forming friendships and being able to open up about themselves and their life stories even when they have just met. I could never properly describe this book and how much I loved it on so many levels. The appraisal and celebration of plants and nature; the out-of-the-box thinking and living, which is promoted in the book; abandoning social conventions and befriending others quickly, tackling different forms of abuse and raising awareness about it; you name something wonderful, and this book has it. The book touched me on more levels than I ever experienced before. I cried several times (which rarely happens and has never happened this much) and it was so beautiful that I find it hard to even write this blog. I read The Garden of Memories days ago, but just can’t find words to describe this story (this never happens).
The Garden of Memories is the story of Rose, a nurse who retires and wonders what she would do now that her identity as a nurse is turning into a former nurse. How will she fill up her days, already emptied by the death of her husband Glen? The story starts with her last day at work at a local surgery, with a surprise leaving do organised by her colleagues. She spends a few days watching TV and not even opening her gifts or reading cards. Then she says enough and starts thinking about the box in which she placed herself, and what to do now that she has retired. Many people leaving their careers and retiring will be able to identify with this feeling; I dare to say, particularly Americans who live their careers and work very late into life should read this book. I immensely enjoyed this debate on boxes in which we place ourselves and then do what we think is expected of us. Rose looks for old things and finds a photo of herself when she was 16 in the local woods in Cornwall. She goes to that same place, eats the same garlic plant she ate on her birthday, and sings her heart out just as she did on her 16th birthday. This leads to re-organising her life, starting with a garden her husband Glen used to take care of. She plants a memory plant from her sweet 16. This then creates new friendships, such as with a colleague from work, and her neighbour and then the community grows. Rose finds herself with a whole circle of friends who share their life stories with her, and they start planting memory plants in the garden; plants that remind them of someone they loved but lost. What a beautiful, beautiful idea. It takes a genius to come up with this story, and I do not doubt that this author must be a lovely person. I also do not doubt that my UK book club friends will also love this book, and I look forward, more than ever, to our online discussion soon.
The Garden of Memories is also, in a way, a story of various forms of domestic abuse and how it affects people, with particular criticism being centred at bad parenting. Flora plants a flower her first love brought her when he proposed to her. Flora’s story was particularly poignant because it is a story of domestic abuse by her controlling mother who did not want her to have her own life so that Flora could look after her. As a result, and unable to shake off these shackles, she remained single her whole life. Now at the age of 77, she is trying to live her life as a rebel she never was so she dresses like a hippie, and celebrates all colours by combining them in the most unusual ways but she still hears criticism from her mother in her head, which was poignantly described, and the reader can feel Flora’s emotions. The story shows the importance of early socialisation and how people end up in a cycle of abuse and cannot always get themselves out of it. Flora, at age 77, still fights her mother’s voice she hears in her head criticising her for everything she does. She eventually meets James and then wonders how she would even form a relationship at the age of 77 and whether it is too late now to start living the life she always wanted. This was described beautifully, and the book thus opens a question of parenting, enmeshment and controlling parental behaviour as a type of abuse that patriarchal society, that celebrates blood relationships, rarely tackles. I cried reading Flora’s story more times than I care to admit. But this is not the only domestic abuse story. Josh, a guy who also faced poor parenting, because of which he drinks, whilst his sister is a drug addict, makes a chance encounter with the garden and it helps him find a new career path and strength to fight his parents and their controlling influence. Sally was a victim of emotional domestic abuse with her controlling husband Paul abusing her with excessive criticism and deliberate undermining of her self-confidence. She was Rose’s colleague in the GP surgery, and then started rebuilding her life and confidence, also by coming to the garden and building a pond from scratch. Others also came, such as Louise, a widow of a National Trust horticulturalist Matthew and Rose’s daughter, Bella, who suffers from marriage issues due to an unwanted relocation, which happened because of her husband’s work and a drive for higher income, thus again opening a question of the meaning of life and whether work should control us and whether we place ourselves in boxes. What is more, her daughter Bella wanted to stay in Cornwall rather than move to Birmingham but Nigel, her husband, as it turns out did not have a lot when growing up so he tried to earn more, only to put his family in danger by never being at home and always working, thus again the book tackles early socialisation and the impact of parenting, which was not bad in this case but affected Nigel nonetheless. There are more stories here, but I need to stop.
I am talking too much about stories and feel like I should transcribe this book manually to remember every single word. The book is absolutely beautiful and tackles important societal problems by celebrating nature, friendships and communities, which matter the most (or they should). The book also tackles different forms of abuse and how it affects people and sends a message that it is never too late to start living life and enjoying it. We can always change things because only we have the power over our lives, even if we do not always see it. The book also tackles Britishness by commenting on how unusual it is for all these people to share their life stories so soon after they met and to befriend each other, saying this is not exactly British – it takes more time to make judgments in the UK normally before one befriends someone – but this is the power of a beautiful garden that makes people open up and form friendships faster. I would add that this book is fundamentally British in the way it celebrates communities, friendships and nature, which is what British authors often, beautifully write about and what I associate British authors with (and why I love them and favourise them in my reading lists). The book is as British as sandwiches and crisps for lunch and Amanda James is a truly wonderful British storyteller. It goes without saying I will buy and read her other books too.
This blog does not do justice to the Garden of Memories. Read this!
Thank you for reading!