Author: Adelyn Birch
As the title suggests, 202 Ways to Spot a Psychopath in Personal Relationships is a guide to recognizing a psychopath. The list of characteristics is compiled from some academic literature, e.g., Hare’s psychopathy checklist, as well as anecdotes and observations.
The author, as per her biography, has been in a relationship with a psychopath, which instigated her interest in this topic, so she started to research psychopathy and write about this phenomenon and behavioural and psychological personality types. However, unlike other books I have reviewed already, e.g., Jon Ronson’s The Psychopath Test or Kent A. Kiehl’s The Psychopath Whisper, which offers either a comprehensive popular account based on in-depth personal research (Kiehl) or an investigative journalism piece (Ronson), this book just lists various characteristics of a psychopath, with very little writing or analysis. I suppose it might be a good place to start, and had I read this book first, I would have potentially enjoyed it, but having first read the other two books on psychopathy, this was not exactly new, and since there is hardly any analysis or personal experience, the book was a bit futile to me. The fact the author says in her biography that she was in a relationship with a psychopath, which instigated her interest in writing about psychopathy, is very compelling, but she does not write about it and does not use sufficient personal examples.
I will not list all characteristics of psychopaths from this book because I wrote about them in the other two blogs (see links above), but this book accurately represents research I have read so far and two books I blogged about. Some interesting additions this book offers, and this comes due to the book’s focus on personal relationships, are that psychopaths cannot have intimate relationships because they eventually start despising people they are with and just use them whilst they have something to give them and/or until they find a next victim. Psychopaths can be envious too, and work hard to destroy people they envy, which is a characteristic that I did not come across in other books I read. Since the author of this book references her writing only sporadically, it is not always clear what is from literature and what is anecdotal. I did not read about envy before, so guessing it is anecdotal, but then again, I did not read enough about psychopathy yet to know. Therefore, more referencing would be helpful in this book, albeit I recognize that it is not an academic book.
What was also interesting to read, again not sure if anecdotal or research-based, was that psychopaths are often established and liked in their communities, which means it is hard to come forward about their behaviour because people would not believe the victim. The victim is also often an outsider or a marginalized member so that is why they get targeted in the first place. This makes sense due to the fact psychopaths want to feel power over their victims. Another interesting thing from this book was an assertion that psychopaths particularly target neurotic individuals because they give them confidence and boost their egos, and they are easy victims. This also totally makes sense albeit not sure where is this from, but it is something that requires further exploration. The book then proceeds with warning signs of being in a relationship with a psychopath, and the author lists a comprehensive list of red flags.
Overall, this was an interesting book, but it was hard for me to read it due to the checklist type of writing, which does not suit me. I prefer narratives and more comprehensive context and information, along with clear referencing. But, as a rough and basic guide, this book can be useful and potentially lifesaving, particularly since the author says that people who are in relationships with psychopaths often question themselves and their views of relationships. Therefore, reading this and understanding that the author herself was a victim of a psychopath can help someone understand they are not the only one, they are not crazy and most certainly, they are not alone.
Thank you for reading!